Death

Death is not something i afraid.
I maybe so afraid of love but i don't afraid to die...

I feel that all this suffering, mental break down and everything is worse then die.
After i dead i will not see any unhappiness in people, i will not feel miserable and feels like dying.

I wonder in the process of dying would the pain be less painful than what i experience it now?

Wanting to die is a thought that hunt me like a million years ago.
My life is so grey so black, so empty, so useless, so wasteful.
What is the point of i living and be a burden to everybody.
I should die and donate my organs and so other people will live a life that they want , will not lose their love ones, able to accomplish things that they want life...

All this isn't it carry a much more value that i living now?

My will and reason of living is only 1%.
If anybody wish me to die i'm more than happy to.
So i can end all these suffering and not burden anybody anymore.
I feel that i'm so useless, dying like sound more useful to me.

Nobody treasure me being in living now.
I think he would think that if i'm gone is for good, so he would not feel pain and misery and don't need to decide. I'm just extra isn't it?
I know the best few formula of dying.

Should I??

I really don't neo when i will cannot take it anymore and end all these suffering.
I don't neo when.
I'm not love, not treasure, I'm like just a dog.

IF i die, I don't want anybody to come to my funeral.
I want to die in silent and alone.
Lay in a a coffin fill with White Rose. This is what i am. P.S: If one day, really one day i die, I have fought with my pain and suffering till the end already. I have tried my very best. Please don't be anger with me. I love all of u. Please live ur life in ur fullest and do things that i cannot accomplish anymore.
This is like me:
http://video.baidu.com/p?word=%D5%E6%B5%C4+%D5%C5%C9%D8%BA%AD&pos=2&s=3