Somthing seems to matter but it don't seems to be the case...

Ironic...

I'm feeling a mix feeling...
I'm not lost in what i need to do or what i going to do.
But rather i feel more like giving up what i feeling...
Cause it is irritating and i feel that i'm so deprive from
freedom in that few mins or hours.

Anything that i have to give up my freedom i will give up on that stimulate.

Simple.

I feel so tire.........
I wanna to start certain thing anew
but sometimes it just too difficult and not possible.
I couldn't care anything that is none of my concern.
I need a happy hoilday break for myself mentally.
I need a partner to accompany top go crazy and happy about
things in life...

NOT a boyfriend like in thise BGR relationship...
I got hurt and disappointed in it...
I need to heal...
I need to gain confident over it....
Also, i need to gain back wat i lost..
That's a lots...

Probably i will never retrive what i lost and what i want.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
I just want to live each day happily as i wanted.
I don't want to be like somebody.