There is no point upset over peaople who already don't
feel for u...
Don't be cruel to yourself.
live as you are, work for others dreams whick is more possible
to dreams of and work towards it.
P.S: It is not possible to get together le.
The feeling and situration is already different.
Even start over again, it would not be the same anymore.
The courtship i wish for is something not you can give already.
If it is not the dreams i once wanna to have...
I don't want to give up and i want to hold on to it..
Why is courtship so Beautiful?
Why is courtship so beautiful??
Cause you dream to have her by your side; as she is attractive to you.
Cause you love the person like there is no tomorrow; as there is
no garanteen there is a tomorrow with her.
Cause you would do anything to please her, you would not do anything to upset her;
your dreams will beaks if that so.
Cause u know if you upset her, you would lose her almost immediately and forever;
no mistake can be tolerated.
Cause of your be-careful; everything you do seem to be so perfect.
Cause it is perfect; it is beautiful.
Cause you dream to have her by your side; as she is attractive to you.
Cause you love the person like there is no tomorrow; as there is
no garanteen there is a tomorrow with her.
Cause you would do anything to please her, you would not do anything to upset her;
your dreams will beaks if that so.
Cause u know if you upset her, you would lose her almost immediately and forever;
no mistake can be tolerated.
Cause of your be-careful; everything you do seem to be so perfect.
Cause it is perfect; it is beautiful.
Pain
When one doesn't love u, it is just so different and painful to bear.
It is so cruel...
Who will neo my slinet cry and tears..
Who will pity on me..
Nobody will...
It's just too unbearable...
Why i'm just so useless...
I need to be stronger...
It is so cruel...
Who will neo my slinet cry and tears..
Who will pity on me..
Nobody will...
It's just too unbearable...
Why i'm just so useless...
I need to be stronger...
The life that continues...
Broken hearts still bleeds , pain is still there ;
Tears have dried, Loneliness is felt.
Through all this, I have learn to take things easier,
Learn how to accompany myself,
Learn how to be stronger in this siturations,
Learn how to hold back my sadness in front of people,
Appreciate certain things in life.
To learn all this definatly not easy.
Time, changing of mood and physco to myself os needed.
( Esp. I cannot escape from it and must live and see it everyday.)
Since today onward,
Everytime i open my eyes, Even there is no roses blooming,
the smell of roses and the beautiful sight accompany me.
I tell myself,
Today is a good day, it is beautiful to open my eyes to see happiness and miricle
happens around me.
When i said this to myself, then today it will be a good day, no matter what happen,
cause i hope, i want to believe in it ;it is beautiful to live on.
This is a small and simple happiness.
A small small hope andd peace in me.
Tears have dried, Loneliness is felt.
Through all this, I have learn to take things easier,
Learn how to accompany myself,
Learn how to be stronger in this siturations,
Learn how to hold back my sadness in front of people,
Appreciate certain things in life.
To learn all this definatly not easy.
Time, changing of mood and physco to myself os needed.
( Esp. I cannot escape from it and must live and see it everyday.)
Since today onward,
Everytime i open my eyes, Even there is no roses blooming,
the smell of roses and the beautiful sight accompany me.
I tell myself,
Today is a good day, it is beautiful to open my eyes to see happiness and miricle
happens around me.
When i said this to myself, then today it will be a good day, no matter what happen,
cause i hope, i want to believe in it ;it is beautiful to live on.
This is a small and simple happiness.
A small small hope andd peace in me.
My love last word
I must admit that once i have destroy a true love that
i have unknowingly falling in deeply in it.
I did not believe it is a true love that i experiancing it at first,
cause it just like a dreams.
To made ot feel like reality, i create anger and imperfection to
feel to pain.
It is stupid and childish.
Yes, i admit it.
When i realise it is my true love ; is when i feel the real pain.
A strong pain that breaks my heart into pieces , tears which
have uncontrol fallen down , heavier than a pouring rain,
a slient cry in my shell-less heart; echoing.
But the time i realise it ,
it's all too late.
I'm no lomger love by the one.
I beinging sweep by reality and the un-love him.
I hve bought upon myself,
I have lost... Everything of love.
Memories is the only thing it remain i guess.
Even memories is the only thing left,
but it will not turn sour
It will be kept as beautiful as it is,
keep somewhere in my brian, my broken heart pieces,and in my blood stream by my tears.
I feel thankful that i have such a love in my life.
Thank you.
i have unknowingly falling in deeply in it.
I did not believe it is a true love that i experiancing it at first,
cause it just like a dreams.
To made ot feel like reality, i create anger and imperfection to
feel to pain.
It is stupid and childish.
Yes, i admit it.
When i realise it is my true love ; is when i feel the real pain.
A strong pain that breaks my heart into pieces , tears which
have uncontrol fallen down , heavier than a pouring rain,
a slient cry in my shell-less heart; echoing.
But the time i realise it ,
it's all too late.
I'm no lomger love by the one.
I beinging sweep by reality and the un-love him.
I hve bought upon myself,
I have lost... Everything of love.
Memories is the only thing it remain i guess.
Even memories is the only thing left,
but it will not turn sour
It will be kept as beautiful as it is,
keep somewhere in my brian, my broken heart pieces,and in my blood stream by my tears.
I feel thankful that i have such a love in my life.
Thank you.
What is love now??
Love,
What it is??
Nobody can define.
But one thing i I'm certain is that,
it consist of one's emotion, feeling , heart, thoughts , time ,
energy, actions , desire , wants and needs.
Even you are not being love, but all this still apply.
As long you have once love, you would understand it...
Only true love can create romance , happiness , sadness ,tears , laughter,
wield emotions that you can't understand it.
When one in love , it just like roses bloom every moment
when u wake up , fill with a sweet pleasant rose smell and the sight of the roses
brings a simple and quiet which made everyday , is a day you look forward to.
What it is??
Nobody can define.
But one thing i I'm certain is that,
it consist of one's emotion, feeling , heart, thoughts , time ,
energy, actions , desire , wants and needs.
Even you are not being love, but all this still apply.
As long you have once love, you would understand it...
Only true love can create romance , happiness , sadness ,tears , laughter,
wield emotions that you can't understand it.
When one in love , it just like roses bloom every moment
when u wake up , fill with a sweet pleasant rose smell and the sight of the roses
brings a simple and quiet which made everyday , is a day you look forward to.
Focus in my life
Life is always changing...
It can happen very quickly or slow...
Very drastic or insignificate...
Changings have occur in my life now...
In the mist of it, I have figure the path back to the original.
But of course thing have became different;
Focus also different.
For now i have return to my own-self...
However, not fully there yet and changes occur within me.
good or bad?? I dun neo...
Things that i wanna to focus is going to be different as well...
I wanna to focus in my own life, school work, leisure,
reading on material that is interesting to me, practice more Yoga,
dancing,...
This is for now i guess... things might change... who knows...
I don't want to focus in the painful happening and changing, i want to focus on something else.
It is to painful to carry on if i don't change.. Simply too painful...
Tears have dry, but pain is still there...
To heal the pain is not the matter of time.
But the thinking of it...
Seeing it differently is a good way, focus in different thing is even better...
However, say is easier than do.
I'm trying to do it....
Pls give me all the support and blessing...
I not strong, i'm trying my very best at least.
Don't discourage me or hurt me...
It is too unbearable...
It can happen very quickly or slow...
Very drastic or insignificate...
Changings have occur in my life now...
In the mist of it, I have figure the path back to the original.
But of course thing have became different;
Focus also different.
For now i have return to my own-self...
However, not fully there yet and changes occur within me.
good or bad?? I dun neo...
Things that i wanna to focus is going to be different as well...
I wanna to focus in my own life, school work, leisure,
reading on material that is interesting to me, practice more Yoga,
dancing,...
This is for now i guess... things might change... who knows...
I don't want to focus in the painful happening and changing, i want to focus on something else.
It is to painful to carry on if i don't change.. Simply too painful...
Tears have dry, but pain is still there...
To heal the pain is not the matter of time.
But the thinking of it...
Seeing it differently is a good way, focus in different thing is even better...
However, say is easier than do.
I'm trying to do it....
Pls give me all the support and blessing...
I not strong, i'm trying my very best at least.
Don't discourage me or hurt me...
It is too unbearable...
My dreams??
When the clock strike mid-night, my heart breaks.
Each echo of the 12 dong, each tears drop from cheeks.
Love, seems to be drifting away from me.
So far away that it becaome a Neverland.
A land that i might never reach again and stay here.
Maybe, that is not a place that is mean for me.
I wanna to find a place that is fill with peace and joy within myself.
A place that:
Have no pain
no tears
no disappointment
Fill with Happiness
hopes and wishes
laughter and not just a fade smile
&
Freedom.
It is not heaven that i'm looking for.
But is a place that i hope to reach in this reality.
Reaching there is definatly not an easy task and journey.
There is no map to it, my only direction is through direction that pieces of my broken heart direct.
It's not just a difficult thing, what it takes the most is patient.
I believe that when my broken heart pieces mend up the last piece that
left before the complete heal up: the direction to the land that i'm been
seeking for.
A land that i called Dreamland.
P.S What is written in this blog is not the actual and complete of
what i have written on the paper, i lost the paper.
This is just a recall of my feeling and what i wrote when it happen.
Each echo of the 12 dong, each tears drop from cheeks.
Love, seems to be drifting away from me.
So far away that it becaome a Neverland.
A land that i might never reach again and stay here.
Maybe, that is not a place that is mean for me.
I wanna to find a place that is fill with peace and joy within myself.
A place that:
Have no pain
no tears
no disappointment
Fill with Happiness
hopes and wishes
laughter and not just a fade smile
&
Freedom.
It is not heaven that i'm looking for.
But is a place that i hope to reach in this reality.
Reaching there is definatly not an easy task and journey.
There is no map to it, my only direction is through direction that pieces of my broken heart direct.
It's not just a difficult thing, what it takes the most is patient.
I believe that when my broken heart pieces mend up the last piece that
left before the complete heal up: the direction to the land that i'm been
seeking for.
A land that i called Dreamland.
P.S What is written in this blog is not the actual and complete of
what i have written on the paper, i lost the paper.
This is just a recall of my feeling and what i wrote when it happen.
Sianz....
AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My face swell up like shit lo!!!!
AGGGGG.... SO sad la... sob sob...
The part that is even sad one would be i'm comfine at home lo..
24hours at home... for days is something i haven't been doing for a long long time le..
So sad... Can do whatever i wann a to do... Like yoga, shopping, go dining... haiz.. sob
I slept for 20 hours yesterday after the medication... O dear..
I think i pretty stress up ba...
Hmm.. Today is the 3rd day STO.. still pain and swelling.. I Hope the swelling go away soon..
I don't even dare to go out of my house to buy something... Is that bad lo...
Anyway... After sleeping so much yesterday, today must do something about my project.
See how's my swelling tml... It's been very bored at home like that... I will go crazy soon if this carry on ba... Haiz..
My face swell up like shit lo!!!!
AGGGGG.... SO sad la... sob sob...
The part that is even sad one would be i'm comfine at home lo..
24hours at home... for days is something i haven't been doing for a long long time le..
So sad... Can do whatever i wann a to do... Like yoga, shopping, go dining... haiz.. sob
I slept for 20 hours yesterday after the medication... O dear..
I think i pretty stress up ba...
Hmm.. Today is the 3rd day STO.. still pain and swelling.. I Hope the swelling go away soon..
I don't even dare to go out of my house to buy something... Is that bad lo...
Anyway... After sleeping so much yesterday, today must do something about my project.
See how's my swelling tml... It's been very bored at home like that... I will go crazy soon if this carry on ba... Haiz..
Removal of my Wisdom tooth.
Agggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I removed my wisdom tooth today....
Actually i have 2 wisdom tooth that need to be remove..
But i scare i cannot tanhan
and scare it will be too painful so i only remove one at a time...
For this time i remove my lower right side wisdom tooth...
I thought it would be a very Tiring and pain process but it is NOT!!! So happy!!
The dentist is very PRO LO... Most dentist told me that my tooth takes ard 45 mins.
Cause my tooth is hidden in my gums de...
But this dentist took the most ard 20 mins only... WOW!! I feel the whole procedure
is done in a very pro and fast... SO HAPPY!!
NExt what i worry is the swelling... I hope it will go away soon...
But besides the swelling and pain .. My appitate is very good and i can take
most of the food and it doesn't seems too affect me too much...And i think i keep
eating and cannot excerise... THAT IS THE ONE THING the the dentist warn me
STRICTLY!! Haiz.. I got too bide by i guess... Haiz... so soon u will see a even fatter yinshan...OOPS!!
He gave me a 7 DAYS MC!!! WOW!!! It's since a very long time i have such long MC.
i don't think i will take the whole 7 days mc la... i think i will go back too school when i can.. Otherwise, i can't catch up my work... plus there is project work too do... Haiz... i think i got time strain sia... got to work hard le o/...
Hope i will recove soon!!!
I removed my wisdom tooth today....
Actually i have 2 wisdom tooth that need to be remove..
But i scare i cannot tanhan
and scare it will be too painful so i only remove one at a time...
For this time i remove my lower right side wisdom tooth...
I thought it would be a very Tiring and pain process but it is NOT!!! So happy!!
The dentist is very PRO LO... Most dentist told me that my tooth takes ard 45 mins.
Cause my tooth is hidden in my gums de...
But this dentist took the most ard 20 mins only... WOW!! I feel the whole procedure
is done in a very pro and fast... SO HAPPY!!
NExt what i worry is the swelling... I hope it will go away soon...
But besides the swelling and pain .. My appitate is very good and i can take
most of the food and it doesn't seems too affect me too much...And i think i keep
eating and cannot excerise... THAT IS THE ONE THING the the dentist warn me
STRICTLY!! Haiz.. I got too bide by i guess... Haiz... so soon u will see a even fatter yinshan...OOPS!!
He gave me a 7 DAYS MC!!! WOW!!! It's since a very long time i have such long MC.
i don't think i will take the whole 7 days mc la... i think i will go back too school when i can.. Otherwise, i can't catch up my work... plus there is project work too do... Haiz... i think i got time strain sia... got to work hard le o/...
Hope i will recove soon!!!
Losing myself.
Shadow has been follow me around every second, everywhere i been.. Even in the brightest place, it has been always there.
Pain has been there as it is a scar already. A scar that it doesn't seem to heal. PAin is real, it is the reality, Dreaming is always a dream. I always hope to die, i neo it is wrong to think of that, but i really hope i can aways dream and not wake by reality. No matter how hard i tried in reality, i still can't reach the destination. Whenever i thought i reaching but it is actually the wrong place that i thought it should be. No one can understand. No one can.
In this stomy battle, i declare i have lost. I have lose myself. Pain which was to be cold and tears which were once frozen have been draw
by the heat and boil once again. i wish i can stop. But actually i'm not that
strong afterall.
i always believe in fairytales, that is something i wanted to believe.
The prince will accept who u are and who u wanna to be.
However , in the real life this is not the case for me, that is reality
that ppl has been ask me to accept.
I'm tire... Tire...
Happy seem ver far away from me..
Even a smile come with drops of tears.......
Maybe i would wan to consider myself as fortunate to suffer this much and not any worse.
I have lost, which direction i should go??
Nethier do i have the answer.
Pain has been there as it is a scar already. A scar that it doesn't seem to heal. PAin is real, it is the reality, Dreaming is always a dream. I always hope to die, i neo it is wrong to think of that, but i really hope i can aways dream and not wake by reality. No matter how hard i tried in reality, i still can't reach the destination. Whenever i thought i reaching but it is actually the wrong place that i thought it should be. No one can understand. No one can.
In this stomy battle, i declare i have lost. I have lose myself. Pain which was to be cold and tears which were once frozen have been draw
by the heat and boil once again. i wish i can stop. But actually i'm not that
strong afterall.
i always believe in fairytales, that is something i wanted to believe.
The prince will accept who u are and who u wanna to be.
However , in the real life this is not the case for me, that is reality
that ppl has been ask me to accept.
I'm tire... Tire...
Happy seem ver far away from me..
Even a smile come with drops of tears.......
Maybe i would wan to consider myself as fortunate to suffer this much and not any worse.
I have lost, which direction i should go??
Nethier do i have the answer.
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